Friday, 23 October 2009

The Jasmine

"A hot polluted day;
 The jasmine's fragrance
 Soothes the air"


[walking on a hot afternoon, the humid air blending with the cars' smoke, only by the side of the road, the jasmine's scent, soothes the aching atmosphere from pollution]


  1. Very nice, but we don't get, from the haiku alone, the fact that there is pollution around. You need to add something to it that will help deliver the intended effect. Maybe you could have the first line as "Polluted day;" and continue? Just an idea.