Saturday, 8 May 2010

Old Age

An old bent tree
bathing in the sunset
warms its crooked joints

7-5-2010

My brother came up with this haiku yesterday, if we can call it one, because he doesn't know a thing about haikus and asked me to post it to see if it is a legitimate one.

6 comments:

  1. So far, that is the most beautiful haiku I've ever read !!

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  2. Nice indeed;

    I would have personally removed the second line and kept it simple like this:

    The old bent tree
    bathing in the sunset
    warms its crooked joints

    ReplyDelete
  3. An old tree, bent
    lonely on its mound
    bathing in the sunset
    The river flows through history

    forgive me for being so forward but would this not make it more of a Haiku

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  4. If I may be so forward...

    An Old tree, bent
    bathing in the sunset
    wood knocks time
    The river runs through history

    would this make it more of an Haiku?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Thank you everyone!
    And yes, I like the simple version.

    ReplyDelete